Buzz Aldrin walks on the moon, July 20, 1969 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m tryin’ to cope with lots of things, here at the edge of hell.

The heat is already bearin’ down on us here, like a tailgater, or a hot wet blanket, or just about any other hot miserable smothering simile you can think of.

I’ve never lived outside this heat. The one time I lived outside the United States, it was in Malaysia, which is tropical, in the 90s, year-round.

So now that I’m thinking of that time, from long ago, I think of all the people, all over the world, who have to suffer, especially in extreme heat, or extreme cold. I wish humans didn’t have to suffer so. What was God thinking?

It’s pretty much impossible not to be serious, here at the edge of hell. I’ll settle for some comforting music, if possible, to get by another day.

I hope you have a good Monday, the rest of the day, but even the moon feels sorry for us, doesn’t it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTijRT8ifZo

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Boston (Photo credit: Bahman Farzad)

Last night, for part of my supper, I peeled and ate a navel orange, which was sweet and good and convenient. I didn’t think much about it until later.

Late last night, I was watching BBC news, about the Boston marathon bombing. I’d heard earlier, on other news, that one suspect had been killed by police and another suspect had been injured. I haven’t read the news today. Even talking to someone can be so distracting. Jesus said He will keep in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Him.

After I turned off BBC news last night, after I heard the bombing suspects were from Russia, I thought of a book called “Inside Russia Today” by John Gunther. The book’s first copyright is 1957. The map inside is labeled “The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics.” The book belonged to my paternal grandmother, but I got permission from my parents to have the book, which I’m saving for my son, who likes old books, and history.

I saw on the cover of the book “Youth in Ferment” about some of the topics in the book. I started skimming through to a chapter called “Some Soviet Attitudes.”

The “Attitudes Toward the USA” sub-title, page 74 (hardback edition) explains that most Russians thought that only rich American males go to college, and that most of America is run by big business.

Here’s the last line of that paragraph, which stunned and saddened me: “I have heard a Russian boy ask quite seriously, ‘Are there mountains in America?’ and ‘Do you have oranges?’”

I put the book down. I couldn’t read anymore. I picked up another book called “The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency” by Alexander McCall Smith. I had marked the page with a gift bookmark (received in the mail) from the National Museum of African American History and Culture.

The detective story is set in Botswana, Africa. The lady detective is learning her father’s story, through his voice. Her father had to leave his country to work somewhere else. On page 26, paperback edition, it says this: “You could never tell; there are many sadnesses in the hearts of men who are far away from their countries.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJVesYKuIms

Today, at the Department of Human Services, I met a beautiful African American woman. We stood in line and talked. At one point, she said, “You never know what people go through.”

The beautiful lady’s name (and each woman is beautiful, as the book “Captivating” points out) is Amelia. She appeared to be in her early 30s. Her eyes were red, like she’d been crying. She understood when I told her I used to cry every morning, and sometimes at night.

Amelia said she’d been in a bad car accident a few years ago. She still suffers. She said she was in a convertible with the top down when the accident happened. She wasn’t found for 12 hours and still doesn’t remember everything.

When it was my turn, the government employee who talked with me was very kind and very helpful.

We all waited quietly and peacefully for our turns, except for one frustrated man, who complained out loud. I wish he hadn’t complained, but then I thought of what Amelia said: We don’t know what he’s been through.

Mostly, everyone was peaceful, each waiting in line, with people of all colors and all ages, including children.

After I finished talking at the clerk’s window, about my case, and the appointment was scheduled, I turned to leave the government office. But something stopped me, something about the woman, Amelia, with her brave bold miraculous heart.

I walked back up to her and asked if I could hug her, because that’s what seemed good. She said yes and we hugged each other. We were close enough that I could feel and smell her soft fragrant hair. When I left, I knew this was the real America. The real America will empty out her pockets, full of love.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nc9gPylA-c8

Today, earlier, I felt resigned, about many things, and about what happened, in Boston.

Then later, walking into the library, I felt confused (and invalidated) when I mentioned my sadnesses to an acquaintance. (He had asked).

But the acquaintance gave bad answers, to all my sadnesses. He had an answer for everything. He said of the Boston massacre, “They’ll just party again soon.”  That was his Bible answer, from the book of Judges, he pointed out. So now I never want to read the book of Judges. I’m lucky never to have read any of the Bible all the way through. The Bible is a violent book.

This morning I was thinking, God put the life in the blood and There Will Be Blood. (But I don’t recommend the movie, which is hateful).

In this life, as long as there is life, there will be blood. In this life on Earth, along with the good, there will be murder and maiming and mayhem, as long as there’s any life left, because God put the life in the blood.

So this song, “Be Still My Soul” has been going through my mind. I first heard it at a Cumberland Presbyterian church. I hope the song helps, in some way.

“How long, O Lord, must I call for help, but You do not listen?

Or cry out to You, ‘Violence!’ but You do not save?

Why do You make me look at injustice?

Why do You tolerate wrong?

Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and conflict abounds.” (Habakkuk 1: 2-3)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDkFL7yCGps

Valentines heart (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My son told me sometimes life is a fire walk. I believe him.

But we have to keep walking, through the fire and through the flood, so to speak.

Now there are yellow daffodils blooming, and drooping from rain too.

And this week is Valentine’s Day, a time to keep caring for each other, as much as possible, walking through the fire and through the water.

When I walked in front of the library today, a woman thought I was Jessica. “Are you Jessica?” she asked. I told her no, but that I hope Jessica got there soon.

It breaks your heart, doesn’t it, the way people keep looking and waiting for each other? Sometimes we find each other.

When I called my first brother today, he picked up the phone. My brother thought I was important. He is important too.

We are all important, living and hoping and struggling. We are firewalking! Together now! All the way through!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfM6nRVBvGs

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Ponderosa pines seen from Summit in Scotts Bluff National Monument, Nebraska, USA (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today the Chattanooga Times Free Press banner headline says: “Stage is set for fracking in Tennessee.” It makes me sad.

Last week, I heard a guest lecturer at the Lee University math and science building, talking about the Ponderosa pines they cut down out west to get the natural gas, for consumers.

I was self-centered enough to ask the lecturer what happens to those pines that are cut down, since trees remind me of mothers, the ones who fail, but who still try to do good for their children.

“Oil and gas development will continue on private land,” the conservation biologist said. “They like the royalties and profits from cutting trees.” (Thank goodness, for national parks, protecting trees and wildlife).

The biologist also said the ranchers and landowners like it when the conservationists take care of the elk and mule deer.  That way, other rich people can pay to go on the land and shoot the elk and mule deer, for sport.

If you’d like, you can go to the United States Department of Agriculture National Resources Conservation Service website, to learn many wonderful things about Ponderosa pines, including all their good usefulness and the alternate names, like “Big Heavy” or “Bull Pine” or “Black Jack.” Affectionate nicknames are an honor, I think, because it means somebody loved you, or loves you, and somebody still loves trees, that God made.

There is also a lot more information about fracking in that newspaper article today. But it all boils down to doing unnatural things to God’s natural creation, even ruining the water, which has caught fire with methane in Pennsylvania.

Money meant all this to happen. God didn’t mean it to happen.

When I drove down 20th Street today, after sending a fax to find a job, I saw a little sign in a yard, in bold print and bright colors. The sign said: “God Loves You.” I didn’t make it up.

God meant that sign for you and for me. Let’s not give up, but I’m about to cry. There’s a big heavy ache in my heart, for all creation.

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Preacher, c. 1830, Art Institute of Chicago (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A UPI.com article by Kate Stanton dated today confirms the MSN video, with preacher Pat Robertson telling old ladies to look pretty or stay lonely.

You need to see it for yourself, to believe it. It’s “Christianity” at (some of) its worst. “Look. See Pat splash!”

Preacher Pat of the “700 Club” thinks he’s a holy see or something. But if you see Pat doing something selfish, do just the opposite, then it might be holy.

I don’t even know if Pat apologizes when he blames earthquakes and hurricanes (and now bad marriages) on certain groups of people.

So here we are, in America today in January 2013, with the golden calf-dom preacher Pat, preaching about how it’s all up to the woman.

It’s notable, and terrible, that Robertson reportedly blamed the mother (mothers are easy to blame, Pat said) when a teenager asked how to get his dad to love his mom.

There’s not enough room, is there? Pat’s taking our breath away, again. Dear woman, and dear man too…don’t follow Pat. Follow Jesus. (I’m mixing metaphors, but you understand).

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Montage of languages. Prototype header for the language portal. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Here’s something funny that happened yesterday, while I waited in line at one of those post office mini-offices, where you can buy stamps and pay bills and buy money orders.

The man at the front of the line spoke two languages, at least. I couldn’t tell which one. The customer was on his cell phone, talking to someone in (apparently) his native language, and also trying to complete his business transaction, in English, with the American clerk.

The clerk and the man were dealing with lots of cash. The man in line had a big ole roll of cashola. I saw a fifty dollar bill on the outside of one roll of cash, and lots of other American dollars. So the linguist (very good English) was buying two money orders, speaking back and forth in two languages. He sounded a little desperate, but doing the best he could, with the business that had to be done.

As too often happens, a few things were lost in translation, while the two men tried to communicate, about different transactions in different amounts, in different languages, plus a stamps purchase. The man asked the clerk for exactly two stamps, more than once, worried I guess, about all the money matters. Who doesn’t worry?

How does this happen? How do things get so exacting and confusing at the same time? Maybe that’s how.

Anyway, I waited for the exacting, confusing transaction to play out. Behind me, a younger guy, maybe in his 40s, stood third. Behind the third man, two more people stepped up, a younger man and an older woman. Only something was wrong, because this particular younger man was very upset, almost yelling. How embarrassing, especially for the woman he was almost yelling at. She remained quiet, like she knew something was wrong, but just had to bear it.

The careful cash man (who can blame the careful these days?) eventually got the two money orders and two stamps, but it took a long time. It just went on and on. The younger 40-something guy, when we glanced at each other (and finally smiled about the mess we were all in) said, “Some days it would be better if I never left my apartment.” Don’t we know. For heaven’s sake, we had to laugh. Who’s on first?

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Deutsch: Mosaik aus Ravenna, (Berlin, Bodemuseum): Christus Victor mit Erzengeln Michael und Gabriel; Museum für Byzantinische Kunst, Bode-Museum, Berlin. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The World Challenge Pulpit Series newsletter arrived in the mail today, just in time, with saints wearing out.

My neighbor Trudy told me there’s a book, about how the devil can wear us down.

But, recently, Gary Wilkerson wrote “Now That the Victory Is Won?” and leaves the question mark.

It’s such an encouraging and inspiring message. I hope you can look the newsletter up on-line, or sign up to receive the newsletters by mail.

Wilkerson writes, in the November 26, 2012 edition: “The forces of darkness are arrayed against God‘s people.”

These evil forces can attack us externally, he said, such as taunts from enemies, or internally, with worries about family or friends, or something else meaningful or painful, or both.

I’m trying not to break any Fair Use laws here, but still get Wilkerson’s message out. What struck me most is Wilkerson’s note that “God sometimes allows our enemy to appear too big for us to handle—and He does so for a reason.”

From the story of David and Goliath in I Samuel 17, Wilkerson encourages us to trust in God instead of our own strength and abilities.

“This is the age-old lesson of Christus Victor,” Wilkerson wrote. “Roughly translated, it means ‘Our victory is not in ourselves, but in Christ.‘”

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Tennessee State Line (Photo credit: J. Stephen Conn)

First, the lady I gave the $5 to last week for health care paid it back today. She looked happy.

It feels good not to owe anybody any debts. Christians are supposed to owe people a debt of love, but we get tired. We are human. Still, many try.

Jesus wondered if He’d find any faith when He returns to Earth. No wonder He wondered.

Today in Cleveland, there’s a prominent story, on the front page of the Cleveland Daily Banner, saying that a really rich man has donated a whole lot of money to Lee University, which is expanding property lines into “historic downtown Cleveland.”

But last night, at Lee University’s School of Religion, I went to a meeting in Room 247. The room was filled almost to capacity with people, mostly students, who are trying to help stop human trafficking in the Cleveland area, which is a corridor for sex trafficking because of its proximity to I-75, I-24, Nashville and Atlanta.

Dr. Daniela Augustine, a professor of Christian ethics at Lee, attended and helped lead the meeting, where around 30 to 35 people tried to find out what they could do to help stop human trafficking in this area. We were told, by a speaker from Second Life Chattanooga, that sexual slavery is right here in our own neighborhoods, or nearby. It’s horrible and hard to imagine.

But I remember those young people, in room 247 last night. They do not have huge sums of money to help them help others.

It looked to me like those young people are running on all heart, hearts as big as God‘s. That’s why I have to keep faith that God will help them (maybe us) pay that staggering debt of love, to help humans who have nobody else to help them.

Earlier today, on a car in the Lee library parking lot, I saw a bumper sticker that said, “Find Your Strong.“

Last night, I saw all those young people, finding their strong, off the front page.

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