Today, earlier, I felt resigned, about many things, and about what happened, in Boston.

Then later, walking into the library, I felt confused (and invalidated) when I mentioned my sadnesses to an acquaintance. (He had asked).

But the acquaintance gave bad answers, to all my sadnesses. He had an answer for everything. He said of the Boston massacre, “They’ll just party again soon.”  That was his Bible answer, from the book of Judges, he pointed out. So now I never want to read the book of Judges. I’m lucky never to have read any of the Bible all the way through. The Bible is a violent book.

This morning I was thinking, God put the life in the blood and There Will Be Blood. (But I don’t recommend the movie, which is hateful).

In this life, as long as there is life, there will be blood. In this life on Earth, along with the good, there will be murder and maiming and mayhem, as long as there’s any life left, because God put the life in the blood.

So this song, “Be Still My Soul” has been going through my mind. I first heard it at a Cumberland Presbyterian church. I hope the song helps, in some way.

“How long, O Lord, must I call for help, but You do not listen?

Or cry out to You, ‘Violence!’ but You do not save?

Why do You make me look at injustice?

Why do You tolerate wrong?

Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and conflict abounds.” (Habakkuk 1: 2-3)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDkFL7yCGps

English: Water Mint, Hollow Moor Mentha aquatica – a refreshing sight and scent while struggling across the difficult tussocky and muddy terrain of the moor. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In an excellent on-line survey, called “How Jesus Ministered to Women—With a View to Cultural Context,” Pastor Gregg Cantelmo wrote that we all need “to belong, to feel worthy and to feel competent.”

Sitting in church this past Sunday (still and again) with my little faith and my nervous stomach, the congregation was asked to read from the book of Job, about the trials—the tragedies—of Job, who lost nearly every earthly person and possession he ever loved or needed or wanted.

All so suddenly, Job lost his children, his wealth, his health, and also the companionship of his wife and friends. Job cried out in agony and anguish.

Job 14:7-9 caught my eye, before we got to the reality of surviving tragedy—or tragedies. From the Bible’s New International Version: “At least there is hope for a tree: if it is cut down, it will sprout again, and its new shoots will not fail. Its roots may grow old in the ground and its stump die in the soil, yet at the scent of water, it will bud and put forth shoots like a plant.”

Naomi Zacharias wrote a book called “The Scent of Water: Grace for Every Kind of Broken.” An on-line review said the book is about affirming people with broken dreams, including (and especially) women in brothels. One on-line reviewer said the book shows how, despite many differences, women are all the same in their great need for love, God’s love. (Of course, men need God’s love too).

A website called “Dimensions of Truth” explains about Job, about how Job learned through his horrible losses and desperate agony that there is eventually “expectation and hope…not of reviving the old tree, but of completely new growth”… at the mere scent of water.

The Scent of Water is still all around, eventually, though it seems difficult and impossible and at times, it is. But, someday, there are still shiny lucky pennies, staying there, as reminders of hope. Bright yellow butterflies still lilt by, when we are healed enough to look outside. The butterflies are as playful as happy children, smiling hope.

Autumn lavender blossoms hold forth, beautiful bouquets, unexpected and lavish. It’s love at first sight, at the scent of water.

This is God’s love, on bended knee, for all the Earth.

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Psalm 48:10 (Photo credit: [Share the Word])

We heard about Psalm 88 yesterday at a downtown church here in Cleveland, Tennessee. The lady associate pastor said Psalm 88 is a lamenting Psalm, a “Psalm of Lost Causes.” Psalm 88, she said, is about gloom, despair and agony, like the old song from Hee-Haw. The choir sang that Hee-Haw chorus from yesteryear and it sounded good for right now, lifting spirits.

Sometimes it’s not possible to post daily happy notes on Facebook. But yesterday’s message said: “With God in the Pit.” The pastor explained that Psalm 88 shows us we can give honest voice to our pain. The New International Version Bible points out that Psalm 88 is “a maskil (a teaching Psalm) of Heman the Ezrahite.” The NIV notes add that the Psalm “recalls the fact that although godly persons live lives of unremitting trouble (Psalm 73:14), they can still grasp the hope that God is Savior.” The late Charles Haddon Spurgeon, “the prince of preachers,” wrote that Heman the Ezrahite was known for wisdom and “had done business on the great waters of soul trouble.”

The pastor yesterday mentioned Job and Joseph and Hannah and Naomi, who went through bitter times to better times. These people felt terrible soul pain and cried out the sorrow, dealing with things as hurtful as infertility and treachery and death and family troubles.

It’s that lady’s message and not mine, so it’s also yours. She reminded that suffering disorients us. Sometimes we feel out of sorts and out of sync and might misplace those prescription eyeglasses and then forget to wash that pair of slacks and forget how to feel good.

It’s one thing after another sometimes and we have to pray and work and wait for the crooked places to be made straight again, like the Bible says God can make happen.

The pastor’s message was so good and helpful. She said there is “faith even in the complaints” and that those complaints are “best shared in community.”

So there we were together and here we are together. Thank you again for being here.

“When our vision is clouded by tears,” the pastor said, “it’s hard to see the road.”

This morning a funny little thing happened when Ms. Linda and I were trying to get the food out for everybody. Our bottoms brushed up against each other and we laughed a little and thought of that dance “The Bump.” Remember “The Bump?” It’s fun to bump into each other that way, on the up and up and all.

We’re all in this together, bumping right along. Somehow, we’ll make it. Take it easy now. That kind thoughtful man in the crisp lavender shirt advised:)

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Psalm 13:5 (Photo credit: [Share the Word])

Something uneasy happened this morning. But wait!

If you’d like to read about dealing with uneasiness, here’s a passage from Psalm 4 from the Jerusalem Bible, a Psalm of David, an evening prayer. David apparently wrote this Psalm when he was in some kind of trouble. Over time, David’s troubles included being hunted down by King Saul. If you’d like, listen to David take his fear to God: “God, guardian of my rights, You answer when I call, when I am in trouble, You come to my relief; now be good to me and hear my prayer.”

“…Know this, Yahweh works wonders for those He loves, Yahweh hears me when I call to Him.”

“In peace I lie down and fall asleep at once, since You alone, Yahweh, make me rest secure.”

Yes, Jesus loves us. Yes, Jesus loves us. Yes, Jesus loves us, for the Bible tells us so.

I hope you have a good evening. I hope to see you again Saturday, Lord willing:) Meanwhile, God’s peace to you! (That unease went away. A Psalm is solace for uneasy times).

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Jesus (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Let me tell you about my friends and that doesn’t mean there are a lot and sometimes it feels like there’s not one. My real friends are real people in the best sense of the word, but I’m going to give them made-up names to protect their privacy. We have enough people up in our business, don’t we?

While we ate our lunch with the real good sugar-free pudding for dessert, Mr. Berrigan said he took a hard lick in life many years ago, like many of us do. He said you just can’t fully trust anybody but Jesus. If you take a hard lick in life, Mr. Berrigan almost cried, “You’re a good one if you survive it.” He survived.

Mr. Sibley told me he used to be a real drunk and so did I, so I understood what he meant when he said he never could get enough beer. Once upon a time, I never could get enough wine. Mr. Sibley and I stopped drinking alcohol. Mr. Sibley said Alcoholics Anonymous helped him stop drinking. A friend told him the biggest thing that helps you quit drinking alcohol is the desire to quit drinking alcohol. But when you’re in pain, it’s a hard lick to stop.

For me, stopping alcohol included thinking ahead to the consequences of saying or doing or not saying or doing regretful painful hurtful things to others and myself and feeling dizzy and sick and shaky. By the way, all these new laws they keep trying to pass to control or stop addictions won’t work. This is in the Bible in the book of Romans, where it explains that the more laws you make, the more you make people want to break the laws and find new ways to break them.

Although there are certainly times when the law has to bear the violent away, many times the law might leave the gentle captives alone and leave their healer-doctors alone too, when they’re trying to help. Don’t lawmakers and law enforcers know that addictions are sometimes somebody’s last friend on earth and what do you think happens when you try to take away somebody’s last friend?

Today Ms. LeSueur watered the plants in the front window for us and David showed me a Rosary bracelet he got at Claire’s for around $5 and he said he likes both the Miami Heat and Oklahoma Thunder. Mrs. Day said she didn’t feel like putting the Fourth of July decorations up yet. Mrs. Arendt said good-bye when she went outside to the bright sunshine and the other day, Ms. Goodman gave me her cup of vanilla ice cream. We all like to share and give each other little things. It makes you feel better than pudding.

Friendly people like this are hard to find and we are blessed when we find each other. Mr. and Mrs. Zahn asked me to step outside and see their new white motorcycle, which has a “God is love” decal on the back fender. On the gasoline tank is a beautiful, perfectly-drawn black, white and gray sketch of Jesus wearing the Crown of Thorns and there is a picture of His Sacred Heart, too.

Right before we all went our ways for the day, Mrs. Zahn looked at that picture of Jesus while she looked for her motorcycle helmet, which was in the side satchel. She said, “He’s the best Friend you’ll ever have.” Right this minute, it’s possible to need a friend more than anything in the world. Jesus will be our friend. He says so. Jesus’s earthly friends are human, but let’s try not to leave anybody out or send anybody away. I read a phrase in a book one time that struck me about being “born on purpose.” I don’t remember the book title but I remember that important, life-giving phrase by that author. He said we  are born on purpose and not by accident. Let’s try to choose each other on purpose too.

Yes, Jesus and His real friends try to choose each other on purpose when we’re able. Jesus doesn’t like to leave any searching lonely soul out in the cold and He’ll move heaven and earth to find just one friend and bring him or her home with Him, no matter what. You can trust Jesus when there’s nobody else. Jesus will be there for you and for me. He guaranteed it with His own life and death and Resurrection. He’s in heaven right now, at the right hand of God, praying for His friends.

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Prophet Amos, old Russian Orthodox icon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This morning before I could even clear my throat, a debt collector called and I was sobbing by the end. She wasn’t mean but she meant it and what can I say? I sobbed into my pillow because it’s never enough, is it? But I managed to pick up my “Streams in the Desert” daily devotional book (one of the most helpful I’ve ever read). It said God is “working all night” to help us even if we can’t see it or feel it or imagine it.

So then I did the next thing, like I’ve read we should do when crisis strikes. Sometimes we can’t do the next thing. Sometimes we melt down. Jesus understands. Look at the King James Version of the Bible in Psalm 22. “I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint; my heart is like wax; it is melted in the midst of my bowels.” 

Jesus felt everything it’s possible for a human to feel because, besides being fully God, Jesus was fully human. God wants us to know He knows how we feel. If God didn’t know how we feel, we wouldn’t believe a word He says. So God sent Jesus His Son as the Only Word and the Living Word and the Last Word and like that song says, “Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen, Nobody Knows but Jesus.” So cry out, cry out to Jesus.

When I got here at the library, I looked up the Statute of Limitations on debts. I didn’t even know such a thing as a time limit on debts existed until I read about it months ago in the Chattanooga Times Free Press. If you’d like to learn more, try http://www.creditcard.com.

Here’s something else about debts and debtors and rich people and poor people, the haves and have-nots…along with the religious capitalists who existed long before the United States ever fired one revolutionary shot or experienced the infamous 2008 financial meltdown. At Catholic Scripture Study International, you can see that the prophet Amos talked about the need for social justice. God called Amos to warn and blast the religious rich people, who were oppressing God’s poor people. The poor people were barely making ends meet while the wealthy church folks were building winter homes and summer homes. It was unfair and horrible and God intended to do something about it.

Over at breadoflifefellowship.wordpress.com, here’s something else, which the blogger pointed out: “The wealthy people were running to two towers–their homes and their temples.” The blogger referred to scripture, in Amos 3:13-4:5, where God declares: ‘”I will destroy the winter house along with the summer house; the houses of ivory will perish, and the great houses shall have an end,’ says the Lord.”

We have to use discernment, because some people will drive you crazy and I’ve been one of those people. We can’t give everything or anything to everybody and anybody. But as hard as this life gets sometimes, don’t let us be that person in a summer house with a stony heart.

We can’t do it all, but somewhere it says we can relieve some little misery somewhere. I think it was a story about St. Therese. She went around relieving little miseries where she could. She was the little flower.

Please God, help us relieve little miseries if we can within our limitations. Please don’t let us be deaf to a song or blind to a sorrow. Another song made famous by Ethel Waters says God’s eye is on the sparrow (and not just the bluebird). Help me do what I can. Just this. Today just this.

Someday, it will all be all right. Someday, justice will roll down like water. Someday, it will all be okay.

That creditor’s call made me cry, but that creditor tried to help, too, just so you’ll know. She gave me a heads-up and made a helpful suggestion, which calmed me. Compassion starts in the heart, but it can move upward through a kind voice, relieving some little misery somewhere.

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